it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
