There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
