Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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