If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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