Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
