I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
