Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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