What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
