Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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