I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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