She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
