just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
