her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
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