what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
