Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
if only i could text you this smell
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
