i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
you inspire me to be a worse person
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
