Me. At least after what I've been through.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
