Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
