this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
