i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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