I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I love you.
Bad choice
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