i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
