he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
