No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
