from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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