It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
