he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
