What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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