My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Two words: blizzard sex
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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