would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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