there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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