: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
