using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
