I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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