If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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