Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Randomize
