bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just pee around me
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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