Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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