it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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