so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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