im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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