Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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