Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
