At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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