U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
