Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
