We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
