I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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