Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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