i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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