I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
