fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
